Wednesday, July 30, 2008 -

I realised....sometimes....my emotions will sway along wif yrs...when i talk wif u...u moody...sad..unhappy...i will feel very very sad....seeing u smile smile talk talk laugh laugh my mood will still high abit...


i tell myselfs nt to get too affected...but im nt good at self-restraining....






i need time...






but exams coming...i haf nt enough time...haish....

i wan a time turner...to turn back time...to give myself more time...to rectify all the mistakes i had made...all de bads i might have inflicted on u...and enjoy the times once spent wif u....

lol...emo-ing...

lol...hope GCWX wont see dis...lol...
but she will...sigh...


go pia EOM le...bb!

6:07 PM


Wednesday, July 23, 2008 -

Wat's de hell wrong with me??!?!

Haish...

i'm now feeling low...no motivation to study...no joy in anything....no mood for anything...low morale...no SOB...yet can feel SOB sometimes...

I have no idea wat i'm doing...im losing control of myself...losing control of my own actions, thoughts, emotions...

The need for control...is so great...so great...

Suddenly, i realise i cant adapt fast enough...bloody...dis kind of feeling...it's so miserable...

I duno wats de real problem here...i dun noe anything...i dun wan to noe anything...i wan to noe everything...i dun wish to noe somethings...i wan to noe those things...

These few days, i just wants to slp early..i feel tired...yet i noe...im mentally, psychologically shutting myself down and shutting myself up... my eyes no longer wish to be open...i'm subconsciously avoiding...running away...im very sure if i fell unconscious, i will go straight into a coma...damn the negative tots...

wats the problem?? issit i've changed?? issit the world and its people have changed?? issit the feelings just not right anymore?? issit lack of chance??

I duno...i can laugh and smile...but it feels very hollow...jokes dun come naturally anymore...haish...dec 5, dec 19, feb 11, feb 21, perhaps they were all mistakes...and now is pay-back...

Damn it...

God, heaven, jesus, bhuddha, guan yin, whoever is there, whoever has heard me, whoever is kind enough....help me...save me...

My world just gets a little darker by de day...i nid some LIGHT...
someone..guide me...

7:11 PM


Sunday, July 20, 2008 -

Well...yesterday went to watch The Dark Knight...haha...SO SO SO NICE LA!!!

i wanna rewatch...its very exciting...den alot of hidden meaning in within...pick up so many tings...so many quotes...saw the significant of some scenes in the movie...
love to write them all down here...but i cant rmb everything...from the movie i came up with such tots...


-No matter how pretty a face might be, deep beneath, we are all ugly.
-if i can't be the hero that you need, then i want to be your Silent Guardian.


if i rmb others..i will add dem here....haha...

tata
ciao
byebye!

11:00 AM


Monday, July 14, 2008 -

Your words are so insensitive.

6:53 PM


Sunday, July 13, 2008 -

Haiz...finally i've gotten you to tell me sth about yr feelings... now at least i noe wat to do...wat to expect...reasons for everything that's happening...i will do wat i can...to help u feel comfy when im around...

Studies nt very ideal...i nid to chiong for promos very soon...i wan that As to all come...
haish...time to cast aside all feelings...i wan turn heartless soon...lol..

duno wat to blog...

Prins signing off..






Geraldine if you visit my blog pls tag!




haha

11:02 AM


Wednesday, July 9, 2008 -

Very very sad.....

Econs and Physics onli got an E...den GP onli got a D...chinese onli got B...sian...
My minimum expectation was at least a D...now i got 2 E....haiz....


Im very sorry...perhaps i had carried my joke too far de other day...and now u r still angry wif me....it's been 2 days...everyday i go home, i will feel down...coz u r still angry wif me...i noe u haf the right to feel angry... but i realli hope you will be appeased soon...dis pains me more than any pain i could experience in de world...

dun hate me....

5:23 PM


Sunday, July 6, 2008 -

YESTERDAY

went out with my dad to Chinatown Square there...where we ate dis Curry Noodles for lunch...super nice...I LOVE IT!
Den went to funan...where we shop for new technologies to buy...lol...we discussed of laptop, mp3, hp...haha...and I BOUGHT MY NEW HP!! N78!! haha..de keypad is abit nt nice...den startup and loading abit slow...but nvm!! i like it...wats more...i get to kip de E65!!! hahaha....hoots..shiok!!
Den went Isetan(not istana, den my cousin joined us)...den it's already 6!! and i meeting Marcus and de rest at lot 1 at 7!!! den on de way home, drove to bukit timah hawker centre to buy dinner for my mum,sis,dad,cousin. Den reach home 7...chnged of clothes den pia to lot 1..reached at 7.30..
Ate at pizza hut...where Eeling, Audrey, Jiamin, Geraldine and Marcus were there...duno whether issit they waiting for me to come and order...lol...i feel so bad if they are...but since i duno issit anot...im nt feeling bad,,,,yet....
den we talked till 9+ at pizza hut...den walk abit of lot 1....den all ciao for home le..


Today

Today is what i call a 'Charging Day'...whole day charging...lol...
Afternoon...me, my sis, and my dad were sleeping...den...i was charging my hp, camera, and ipod....lol....
Den went for Dinner and Ivins..a paranakan restaurant...den went to cold storage...where me and my sis's 'GREAT SAVING PLAN' FAILED...haiz....lol

Dats all im gonna blog...tml going out...bb!!

9:18 PM


Friday, July 4, 2008 -

ok...asked to blog by shalini...lol...


err....last WED

No sch!! haha! exam break..lol..so nice...
morning slacked all de way, played pokemon Diamond(it's fun)
den afternoon went out wif Geraldine, Rui An and Shao quan...
We went to Vivo on de pretence of going to do our chi essay together...
but realli...we were juz going there to haf fun!!!

i was late..though..met them at carl's junior...
we had many refills of drinks..lol..
den we went...we went...some shop....den arcade...played a little...
den we went to the pet safari look at dogs...haha...geraldine wan a dog for a pet! too bad she cant..lol

den we went walk walk..den we saw dis russian ship, the pallada (i think? cant rmb how to spell it)...den crap abit...den we went food republic..where i bought 2 deer meat Bao...haha...den dere eating in front of geraldine...she tinks its disgusting to eat deer...shrugs...lol..

den after that we went basement walk around...den went to adidas..where shaoquan,ruian and i was pia-ing the table football...so fun so fun...lol..geraldine find de game boring and went shopping at GIANT! lol..

Thurs

well, went sch for some PW talks...basically, i was not listening all de way...

But before that..played basketball from 7.15 to 8...den from 9.30 to 10.30 oso....lol..

den 12pm finish de pw talk...WAS SUPPOSED to attend some Maths Competition Lecture...but de boys decided to skip it and go JE play pool..lol...played quite a lot...but i lose alot too...=( onli won lyk...twice? lol...

den leaving that time saw Afiqah...Aqilah and Rashiela!! lol...so long nvr see them...dey still look as...erm...erm...erm....erm.....kuku like our 4-6 class lidat as ever...haha..den go LJS...where i treat them drinks (afiqah was shocked as she said dat was the first time i treat her anything since i know her 4 yrs ago)... den we talk talk, laugh laugh, joke joke, talk about old times, old rumors (swipe) and abit about some irritating nonsensical China guy who came to our class one day in his American Accent and disrupted our lives...lol....
Then after that went home...lol....

Then i saw zhen ping de pic when i came online msn....den it was a picture..of some goons in ccks....all wearing shorts...taking a closer look..it was my batch of goons during sec 1!!! haha...all of us look so small...so toot...so cute....no cool cool hairstyle..no wacky wacky hairstyles...lol....

Then today going back CCKS later..on de way see can get any of our old pics anot..lol...

finish blogging...
im off to my world of POKEMON..LOL

9:35 AM